The Ask Me Anything (AMA) concept has been around for a while. But with the current trending of #AMA, there is no denying the recent resurgence of its popularity!
Ask Me Anything is an online forum in which a group of interested people ask questions to the one person who is hosting the session. AMA questions can be be fun or profound.
I did my first “Ask Me Anything…” in a recent Instagram Story. I expected to receive a handful of questions, but suppose I underestimated all that Respectfully Childfree followers want to know!
I was overwhelmed by the response, and while answering the questions realized some of the Q&A may be of general interest. So, here are 9 of the Ask Me Anything questions I received – all on the topic of being childfree…
I first considered not having kids at age 33, when I discovered the childfree community. Until then, I just assumed I’d be a mom someday.
If you’d like to know more about this part of my story, check out my blog post, If, Not When: Is Parenting Right For You?
Seek support and utilize resources for the childfree choice so you can make an informed, considered decision.
Many people, myself included, have considered parenting as part of life’s ideal progression, not a decision to be made. But the truth is: choosing to enhance your life by raising children is simply an option. Only you and your partner know what’s best for you!
Below are links to two books I’ve found helpful in the decision-making process. Ann Davidman, co-author of, “Motherhood – Is It For Me?,” also offers a 10-session online Motherhood Clarity Course.
I think the best response is an honest one; with details shared only to the extent you are comfortable with.
When my husband and I began considering a childfree life, my response to this type of questioning was, “Travis and I plan to have between zero and four kids.” It was my way of communicating that we might opt out of parenthood, but with a touch of humor that lightened the seriousness of the topic.
No, I don’t. (In my head, yes! – but not out loud.)
I’m a huge proponent of educating people about the childfree choice/lifestyle. And believe that a calm, respectful dialogue will have the best reception and impact.
The worst comment, or at least the one I hate the most, is: “You’ll die alone.”
There is SO much wrong with that assumption. Having a child does not carry with it any guarantees. The uncertainty of how end-of-life will play out can plague anyone – parents and non-parents alike. Bringing life into this world for the assurance of elder care and/or deathbed company is misguided and selfish.
You can read more about my thoughts on this in my blog post titled, Who Will Take Care Of The Childfree When They’re Old ?
Yes… society’s message seems to be that a woman who is not a mother is not a complete woman. So I think it’s common for childfree women to feel our worth is questioned!
A big reason I started Respectfully Childfree was how mad and sad it makes me to know that there are women who believe the lie that their worth is dependent on their role as a mother, or lack thereof. I want to be a voice of truth on this subject.
Sure, I wonder that! Choice always offers the potential for regret.
But, I’ve thought long and hard about my decision – I’ve talked to friends, family and counselors (yes, more than one counselor!), prayed about it, read childfree books and listened to podcasts about parenting, attended a NotMom Summit, completed visualization exercises… my choice is very considered.
IF I later feel like I made a mistake by not having kids, I’ll know that parenting just wasn’t right for me during my childbearing years. I’ve made the absolute best decision I can and will lean into the peace of believing that.
Respectfully Childfree is designed to share information and insight; to provoke questions and inspiration. And to highlight childfree resources.
I believe wholeheartedly that taking time to think on the decision to parent is worthwhile – and want to help people understand that parenting is not a mandate, it’s simply an option.
My heart is to encourage and support the childfree community.
Community is so, so important! We yearn to be in contact with people who understand us. And “childfree” or “childless” often feels lonely in a world full of parents.
Respectfully Childfree is active on Instagram and Facebook. You can connect with us by following @respectfullychildfree on Instagram and become part of the conversation by joining the Closed Facebook Group named: Respectfully Childfree.
Of course, connecting with a childfree community in person is ideal. For tips on doing so and to read the story of how my husband and I met our local childfree tribe, check out my blog post, The Childfree Are Hidden In Plain Sight.
Do you have a question that wasn’t answered in this post? Leave a comment below or email me your question at RespectfullyChildfree@gmail.com and I’ll do my best to answer.
Go ahead, ask me anything…